Random is not as random as random seems to make random to be. Music. Maths. Fun. Logic. Sarcasm and Me. Disclaimer: Dear Corporates, All that you may/may not read here may/may not be entirely true. However, how you infer is how you've learned to.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
The Unkown/Unseen
My mind wanders to unknown lands
Wants to know the truth of life,
I ask myself why and how,
Don’t understand the reason to survive.
The questioning never stops,
I have a lot of whys.
My brain doesn’t know all the answers,
And nor do my eyes.
What is the sound you cannot hear,
in the coldness of the night.
What is the feeling you crave to have,
far beyond your sight.
What is behind those perfect horizons,
Where you have never been
What is there beyond the sunset,
Is it the sky unseen?
Disclaimer: This is not an attempt at plagiarism. I just cannot remember who wrote this, neither do I remember if I wrote this myself. #kthxbye
EDIT: This poem was written by Rati A Thank You for letting me share this :)
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Aakanksha.
Nisha was vacationing in the Caribbean. Aakanksha was in India. Nisha remembered what a wreck Aakanksha was back then. Aakanksha never really understood the true meaning of a relationship outside of lust. She was the outspoken and the adventurous of the two. Nisha, on the other hand was a complex though determined soul. She always searched for purpose in everything she did and the only relationship she was in ended with fidelity. She was heartbroken for having broken his heart. Aakanksha always talked about tomorrow while Nisha kept herself wrapped in her yesterday. She had always despised Aakanksha for her ways but secretly she felt secured around her. She wanted to name her daughter after her best friend. This vacation was an attempt at redemption and introspection. Those words took Nisha back to the days she tried running away from.
The mojito she held in her hands as she relaxed on the beach-chair was just the kick she needed. She felt like drowning in the very waves she soaked herself in. All she dreamed about was happiness and to be able to love she once did. All the life and noise around her, of the kids playing ball, building castles in the sand, college teens surfing those waves, honeymoon couples making out, the bartender sharing a joke with the backpackers, the smell of fresh fish, the music all seemed to fade.
All but that one distinct sound of the horse galloping across the shallow waters rhythmically. It was the perfect moment, she thought, to fall in love and escape the clutches of this heart wrenching pain that engulfed her. The red sun dipping into the horizon made her feel uneasy and weak. It was just the perfect halo, as she had imagined, circled around the horse rider's head. She just couldn't take her eyes off him. She felt frozen in that moment. The breeze that bounced off of him was brushing her hair. The waves, that were inviting her to drown, suddenly felt like the source of life. The smell of salt felt like the smell of his love. She couldn't take her eyes off him. She could feel the intensity in his eyes, simplicity in his style, raw lust in his unkempt hair and unbuttoned shirt. She lived a lifetime in that moment.
The drink fell all over her face as the ball hit her hand as she took a sip. The ice on her face shook her. She heard voices echoing in her head. "Pick up the fucking phone you lousy bitch", screamed her alcoholic husband as he kicked her to wake her up. She saw the name on the phone. Aakanksha.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
The Abyss
No one leaves and no one will."
Abyss. The only place in the universe where one can find these lines embroidered into the walls of the rooms, souls of the inhabitants and the very air they breathe. Nobody signed up for a vacation in down there but almost everyone who has ever taken a risk or has been brave, who has ever taken the plunge or have stood up for themselves, who has ever fought for the truth or never compromised are familiar with this territory. The beauty of this place is the illusion of absolute darkness that it creates, even in broad daylight. The rule of this state is the simplest - "Everyone is a captive. Either you break free or die hard." It is probably the best place for a brave soul to find themselves, to think aloud, to think strong, to reason it all out and to take braver, more courageous and, most importantly, the right decisions. After all, everything we do in a lifetime is based on decisions which are based on our beliefs which are based on our ability to see right from wrong. The walls scream of failure, the air smells of death and nothingness tolls all around. It is the perfect place to lose sanity while trying to regain it. And the one's who actually see that fading light, that one ray lit with dust but hope, that one ray which separates life from death are the one's who have made their decisions. The ascend is gravity free. The soul is weight free. The thoughts are jail broken and the fears of the darkness are non-existent.
Funnily enough, more the time you spend getting comfortable in there the more you regret being there and every second spent after leaving the hole is spent in realizing how easy it could have been.
The search for this simple answer is what takes all brave souls down to the abyss and no matter how long you've been inside, everyone gets their own fading light.
IT DON'T MATTER WHAT LIFE THROWS AT YOU, ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS NEVER GIVE UP.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
दो लफ्ज़ किसीकी खिदमत में
वोह दो लफ्ज़ प्यार के तुम्हारे जिनमे एक उम्र बिता दूं,
यह मुसकुराहत तुम्हारी जिनमे सारे गम छूपा लूं,
ऐ दिलरुबा , तुम्हारी तस्वीर के साथ ही अपना जीवन गुज़ार दूं.
इस प्यार में, इस इंतज़ार में, छुपा हैं हर वोह एहसास जिसके छूने से मन्न में ऊठी एक कशीष. एक उम्र थी उस पल में जिसमे हम एक होकर बिच्चड गए.
सब कहते हैं प्यार में दर्द होता हैं,
करके देखे कोई तुमसे प्यार तो कहेगा हर दर्द में प्यार होता हैं.
दिल के इस खेल में ना जाने तुमने कितने पल बिताएं,
कुछ बिन बताएं और कुछ बिन हसाएं.
प्यार पागल है और हम बेहाल,
प्यार ज़िन्दगी है और हम सांस,
प्यार तुम हो और हम तुम.
अगर तुम सोचती की हम तुमसे और तुम हमसे तो क्या गलत होता, फर्क बस इतना होता की तुम तुमसे न होती और हम उनसे न होते.
वोह जाम ही क्या जिसमें तुम्हारा एहसास ना हों, वोह नशा ही क्या जुसमे तुम्हारा ख्याल ना हो.
उन्होनें इतना सब मांग लिया की जान भी कम पड गई.
इस रात के अँधेरे में ना हमने कुछ कहाँ, ना तुमने कुछ कहाँ,
पर तुम्हारी आहट कह गयी वोह बात जो कभी लफ्ज़ ना कह सके.
प्यार के इस खेल में ना तुम जीत सके ना हम,
चल दिए तुम और रह गए हम.
तुम्हारा साथ चाहे वोह हर दम,
हमारा साथ चाहे वोह हर दम,
निशानी हैं प्यार की तुम्हारी और मेरी,
नफरत से मत भर, ऐ ज़ालिम, तुम्हे अपने खून की कसम.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
The Death Of An Existence
The cheerful melody of the birds song,
Woke him up from the slumber,
How he enjoyed, now he wonders.
The challenge, the fight, the war, the sight,
Of how the day would test his might.
Every hurdle, with grit, he faced,
All of it, how easily, he aced.
The mornings are still the same,
The birds sing the same song,
He cannot filter the bane,
The boy, that was, is long gone.
The fight is tougher, the resolve weaker,
The walls pile higher as he goes wee,
The clocks tick, his life piles up,
He rocks himself to sleep, cocooned in his stale niche.
Thank you Manali M (@khatteemithi) for the end :)
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Road To Perdition v0.2
How do you define present? Everything that you see need not make sense. Everything that happens (to you) need not make sense.
How do you define past? Everything that you saw did make some sense. Everything that happened (to you) made some sense.
How do you define future? When you connect everything that you saw and everything that happened, you see a picture called future.
One might argue this is not always true. Well, if you are reading this, I rest my case.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Road To Perdition v0.1
Keeping the RTP in mind and taking the logic, humor out of the way, here's what churned out in a few hundred seconds of the aforementioned freedom.
* when you part those lips, you break the beautiful bliss. Bliss of pure serenity. Bliss of the free, odor-free air. Bliss of hearing the sea waves hit the shore and the bliss of the breeze so calm and composed.
* As the sun sets behind the concrete junlge,
the view from here evokes mixed emotions.
The sea, the shore, the nature and the honks, beauty that they tore.
If those cement blocks were trees, if the water was blue, this sight would be as if the heaven is true. So much to ask for, so less to feel; the democracy here, my friend, our rights they peel.
And, this is what a sleepy mind churns out when put under stress of time with the temptation of freedom.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Motivational Speech
It all starts with the ending. You wake up one day and look into the mirror to see your face all dull and dry. The fun that existed the night before is no longer present. The smile that greeted you every morning from the past three decades is gone. Instead of looking at your present or fore-seeing your future you look at your past. You see that silk suit you were wearing the other day and are unaware of the fact that all you adorn now is that ghastly image of the hedonism you indulged in the previous night. You have succumbed to the temptations that were meant to be fought in order to stay put with the most important task entrusted upon you. And then it all ends up into a dark grey... You wake up later into a world of luxuries unable to relate to any of them and unwilling to resign on any of them. The dormant inner thought fights back pushing you into reality and urges you to go through the grind to resist temptation. It urges you to account for the mistakes made and pleads you to address them. It is now that the grey clouds come out and you can see the silk suit transpire to nothing. Not even the night robes you thought you wore when you slept. Slowly, it is all coming back to you. The caving to the craving has left you naked in front of your own eyes. You see your eyes gazing at your image and you feel the knees buckling and see the head lowering. You come at the bridge. You keep the silk suit or you earn it. The head rises, the eyes are lit, the fire burns and the longest battle of mother nature - the battle for survival - begins.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Ek Chotti Si Love Story………….
Technorati Tags: Love“Hold my hand, Payal “ he shouted and stretched out his hand up in the air. His eyes opened and saw darkness all around. It was a cold rainy night and he was sweating profusely. It was raining outside, and Anurag felt the raindrops fall on his face. He got up and turned to his right to grab his crutches and limped to the window. With the winds blowing and the curtains swaying in the air, a flash of lightning and one could make out the lack of sleep on his face. He had been spending the last one week remembering the events that changed his life for ever. He was crying, but the raindrops took away the tears from his eyes.
It all happened late in the summer of 2008. They met for the first time in the classes everyone took for the entrance exams post boards of standard 12. It was an early morning lecture and monsoon had just hit Bombay. Lectures early in the morning while it rains is what every student hates the most. He saw her enter the classroom and she walked up to him and sat on the seat in front of him. The fan was making her hair blow and the scent of her shampoo filled Anurag’s nostrils. The girl turned around, extended her hand, “ Hi, I am Payal. You are?” Anurag stammered, “ Oh! Hi there. I am Anurag. Good Morning” Before Payal could speak anything, the professor entered and she turned around. Anurag could not pay any attention to the lecture thereafter. Payal was this 5 feet 10 inches tall girl who was a swimmer during her school days. Swimming had given her a physique that was the envy of many girls and the subject of discussion for every guy. Her voice had confidence of a winner but shyness of a bride. Anurag was lost. As the course progressed, they became good friends. Exams happened, they scored good marks and entered the same college and took up the same course. Having known each other for quite a while, they two were inseparable during college. Anurag was now envied by every guy for being friends with one of the most gorgeous girls around.
After the exams got over in May, both Anurag and Payal went out for vacations with their families. Though out on vacations, they could not remain disconnected for long. They would be texting each other constantly and talk on the phone till late in the nights. Anurag wanted to ask her out and decided to drop the ball on her birthday which was coming up in June. The 16th. She was waiting for 5mins to midnight. She knew that is when Anurag would call to wish her, so that he is the first one to wish her. She had this feeling that this year its going to be something different. Something special. Even before the phone could ring, she picked up the phone and screamed excitedly. Deep within, she had already fallen in love with Anurag but was waiting for him to take the first step. She knew that her birthday was the perfect time for him to ask her out, and she already had the feeling that Anurag loved her too.
“Hiiieeeee”, she screamed.
“Heya! and how’s the birthday girl doing?”
“Five minutes to go Mr. I-am-never-on-time-for-anything”
“hehehe.. “
.
.
.
.
“Five, four, three, two, one… Happy Birthdayyyyyyyyyyyyy. May God bless you and give you all the happiness that you seek. And also all your desires!!”
“Thank you, Anurag. Thanks a lot.”
“Hey, listen. Tomorrow don’t rush home after college.”
“why? i have to reach home on time na for the party. you know about it.”
“well…. if you want your surprise…”
“okay. i am getting another calls. talk to you later. Bye”
“Bye. Happy Birthday once again”
“thanks.”
The next day, after college he took her out to the CCD near their college. They placed their orders and started talking.
“Where is my gift?”
“Oh ya. Wait.”
He had already told the waiter to bring a birthday card with a rose along with the coffee. The card made Payal smile, but what happened next took away her smile. Anurag was curios. The card read “To the girl who happens to be my best friend. Wishing you a happy birthday. PS: I always wanted to tell you about the girl I love the most. Don’t open the card if you lack the guts to face her. “ Payal was expecting this, but not this way. She looked up at Anurag and saw anxiousness in his eyes and a smile on his face. She did not understand the look and finally thought of opening the card. It had a mirror! She smiled and looked up and said “ I love you too Anu” To make things more romantic, it had started raining right at that time. It was nature’s way of acknowledging their love. Or was it?
It was running late and Payal was getting restless. She had to reach home in another 30minutes. Anurag suggested to take the trains as they would be faster. Payal and Anurag, were the best of friends but used to fight a lot as well. Payal was the stubborn one and Anurag was more calmer of the two. In the train, Payal wanted to get wet in the rain and stand by the door. Anurag was against it, but in the end relented to his love. He taught her how to stand by the door and was holding her to ensure her safety. Just when Payal removed his arms from around her and asked her to try it herself, Anurag saw a train approaching from the opposite end. He was reluctant and told her to not argue. Payal did not see the train coming and turned around to face him and look into his eyes. The oncoming train honked and it scared the life out of Payal who lost control and fell off the moving train. Anurag reached out for her and slipped as well. He managed to grab the pole at the door by curling across his legs and grabbed hold of Payal’s hand. They both looked into each other’s eyes. Payal’s face looked confused but her eyes were filled with love while Anurag was scared and shouting at the top of his voice. The rain losened the grip Payal had around his hands and the moving train did the rest. Anurag saw Payal’s lower torso come under the train and her body cut in two. He was still holding her hand and looking into her love filled eyes. Fellow passengers rushed to the rescue but were a minute too late. Anurag went numb and fell off the moving train fracturing his legs, which later had to be amputated.
And just then the alarm clock ringed. It was midnight. June the 16th. He whispered, “ Happy Birthday Love “
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
iSeries - uno
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom,
blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine! "
The power broke my resilience. It brought me the needed time. It brought along with itself the reasons I had not been exposed to. And it took away with it, a fan, whose liking changed into love. Not only did it sting me at the right spot and at the right time, but it also made me realise the value of life. My life. For me, for present, it might be nothing. But for those people, for whom I might be everything, it does have some value. I could not be so mean. I could not be so selfish. I had to accept the truth and run over it. I changed my decision, momentarily, postponed it.
There'll be no more, 'Aaahhhh,'
But you may feel a little sick
Can you stand up? I do believe it's working, good;
That'll keep you going through the show,
C'mon, it's time to go "