It all starts with the ending. You wake up one day and look into the mirror to see your face all dull and dry. The fun that existed the night before is no longer present. The smile that greeted you every morning from the past three decades is gone. Instead of looking at your present or fore-seeing your future you look at your past. You see that silk suit you were wearing the other day and are unaware of the fact that all you adorn now is that ghastly image of the hedonism you indulged in the previous night. You have succumbed to the temptations that were meant to be fought in order to stay put with the most important task entrusted upon you. And then it all ends up into a dark grey... You wake up later into a world of luxuries unable to relate to any of them and unwilling to resign on any of them. The dormant inner thought fights back pushing you into reality and urges you to go through the grind to resist temptation. It urges you to account for the mistakes made and pleads you to address them. It is now that the grey clouds come out and you can see the silk suit transpire to nothing. Not even the night robes you thought you wore when you slept. Slowly, it is all coming back to you. The caving to the craving has left you naked in front of your own eyes. You see your eyes gazing at your image and you feel the knees buckling and see the head lowering. You come at the bridge. You keep the silk suit or you earn it. The head rises, the eyes are lit, the fire burns and the longest battle of mother nature - the battle for survival - begins.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Technorati Tags: Love
“Hold my hand, Payal “ he shouted and stretched out his hand up in the air. His eyes opened and saw darkness all around. It was a cold rainy night and he was sweating profusely. It was raining outside, and Anurag felt the raindrops fall on his face. He got up and turned to his right to grab his crutches and limped to the window. With the winds blowing and the curtains swaying in the air, a flash of lightning and one could make out the lack of sleep on his face. He had been spending the last one week remembering the events that changed his life for ever. He was crying, but the raindrops took away the tears from his eyes.
It all happened late in the summer of 2008. They met for the first time in the classes everyone took for the entrance exams post boards of standard 12. It was an early morning lecture and monsoon had just hit Bombay. Lectures early in the morning while it rains is what every student hates the most. He saw her enter the classroom and she walked up to him and sat on the seat in front of him. The fan was making her hair blow and the scent of her shampoo filled Anurag’s nostrils. The girl turned around, extended her hand, “ Hi, I am Payal. You are?” Anurag stammered, “ Oh! Hi there. I am Anurag. Good Morning” Before Payal could speak anything, the professor entered and she turned around. Anurag could not pay any attention to the lecture thereafter. Payal was this 5 feet 10 inches tall girl who was a swimmer during her school days. Swimming had given her a physique that was the envy of many girls and the subject of discussion for every guy. Her voice had confidence of a winner but shyness of a bride. Anurag was lost. As the course progressed, they became good friends. Exams happened, they scored good marks and entered the same college and took up the same course. Having known each other for quite a while, they two were inseparable during college. Anurag was now envied by every guy for being friends with one of the most gorgeous girls around.
After the exams got over in May, both Anurag and Payal went out for vacations with their families. Though out on vacations, they could not remain disconnected for long. They would be texting each other constantly and talk on the phone till late in the nights. Anurag wanted to ask her out and decided to drop the ball on her birthday which was coming up in June. The 16th. She was waiting for 5mins to midnight. She knew that is when Anurag would call to wish her, so that he is the first one to wish her. She had this feeling that this year its going to be something different. Something special. Even before the phone could ring, she picked up the phone and screamed excitedly. Deep within, she had already fallen in love with Anurag but was waiting for him to take the first step. She knew that her birthday was the perfect time for him to ask her out, and she already had the feeling that Anurag loved her too.
“Hiiieeeee”, she screamed.
“Heya! and how’s the birthday girl doing?”
“Five minutes to go Mr. I-am-never-on-time-for-anything”
“Five, four, three, two, one… Happy Birthdayyyyyyyyyyyyy. May God bless you and give you all the happiness that you seek. And also all your desires!!”
“Thank you, Anurag. Thanks a lot.”
“Hey, listen. Tomorrow don’t rush home after college.”
“why? i have to reach home on time na for the party. you know about it.”
“well…. if you want your surprise…”
“okay. i am getting another calls. talk to you later. Bye”
“Bye. Happy Birthday once again”
The next day, after college he took her out to the CCD near their college. They placed their orders and started talking.
“Where is my gift?”
“Oh ya. Wait.”
He had already told the waiter to bring a birthday card with a rose along with the coffee. The card made Payal smile, but what happened next took away her smile. Anurag was curios. The card read “To the girl who happens to be my best friend. Wishing you a happy birthday. PS: I always wanted to tell you about the girl I love the most. Don’t open the card if you lack the guts to face her. “ Payal was expecting this, but not this way. She looked up at Anurag and saw anxiousness in his eyes and a smile on his face. She did not understand the look and finally thought of opening the card. It had a mirror! She smiled and looked up and said “ I love you too Anu” To make things more romantic, it had started raining right at that time. It was nature’s way of acknowledging their love. Or was it?
It was running late and Payal was getting restless. She had to reach home in another 30minutes. Anurag suggested to take the trains as they would be faster. Payal and Anurag, were the best of friends but used to fight a lot as well. Payal was the stubborn one and Anurag was more calmer of the two. In the train, Payal wanted to get wet in the rain and stand by the door. Anurag was against it, but in the end relented to his love. He taught her how to stand by the door and was holding her to ensure her safety. Just when Payal removed his arms from around her and asked her to try it herself, Anurag saw a train approaching from the opposite end. He was reluctant and told her to not argue. Payal did not see the train coming and turned around to face him and look into his eyes. The oncoming train honked and it scared the life out of Payal who lost control and fell off the moving train. Anurag reached out for her and slipped as well. He managed to grab the pole at the door by curling across his legs and grabbed hold of Payal’s hand. They both looked into each other’s eyes. Payal’s face looked confused but her eyes were filled with love while Anurag was scared and shouting at the top of his voice. The rain losened the grip Payal had around his hands and the moving train did the rest. Anurag saw Payal’s lower torso come under the train and her body cut in two. He was still holding her hand and looking into her love filled eyes. Fellow passengers rushed to the rescue but were a minute too late. Anurag went numb and fell off the moving train fracturing his legs, which later had to be amputated.
And just then the alarm clock ringed. It was midnight. June the 16th. He whispered, “ Happy Birthday Love “
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom,
blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine! "
The power broke my resilience. It brought me the needed time. It brought along with itself the reasons I had not been exposed to. And it took away with it, a fan, whose liking changed into love. Not only did it sting me at the right spot and at the right time, but it also made me realise the value of life. My life. For me, for present, it might be nothing. But for those people, for whom I might be everything, it does have some value. I could not be so mean. I could not be so selfish. I had to accept the truth and run over it. I changed my decision, momentarily, postponed it.
There'll be no more, 'Aaahhhh,'
But you may feel a little sick
Can you stand up? I do believe it's working, good;
That'll keep you going through the show,
C'mon, it's time to go "
Monday, April 12, 2010
meaning to life. Life without a dream is akin to a palette without
colors. Colors that fill up a picture unseen. Colors that are in the
imagination of the dreamer and colors that are splashed on the canvas.
Dreams determine the kind of a person you are. Dreams determine if you
are realistic or optimistic. If you are going to live the dream or if
you are living the dream. The whole journey to attain your dream is a
dream in itself. Dream is a dreamy word. Consider your dream to be
like a home you want to build and throughout the journey you encounter
smaller dreams that will make you home beautiful. The interior
designing! Yes, it is these small dreams that are like the colors
splashed on the canvas that in the end make up the whole picture. The
only indegrients required are honesty, belief in yourself,
determinationn, focus and an undying spirit to work hard.
The canvas is yours, just like your life. Fill it with the colors you
want because you are the painter! You decide the path of your life.
You alone. In the end, there is no winner. It is not the most
beautiful painting that is top rated, it is the most meaningful
painting that steals the show. Pour your experiences and meanings,
rather than duplicating them from others. Do not over use a color and
do not leave out any color. The end should not have any regrets.
Unlike a real painting, life does not have an undo option.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Have you ever been in a situation with a mindset that tells you “Yes, I’m in control of myself” and the on the other hand felt confused, blank, numb, bewildered and garbled? Yes, exactly the moment I’m talking about. Have you ever pondered over your state, from a third person’s point of view? Nay, who has the time! I never got an insight into this, until recently when I was talking to a friend. We were chatting casually and one topic led to another until the following:
Friend: Alok, will you save me if i drown into water? I know you will.
Me: Aye, I don’t think i will.
Friend: Why, am i a bad person?
(This is where the answer to the Chaos struck me)
Me: No, you’re good. Hence. God needs a lot of good souls.
That is when it struck me. The reason for all the Chaos. What is it that is causing us all the chaos? Of all the reasons that we list, I’m certain the environment will top the list. It was during our school years that we were taught how plants are living beings, and how science proves it. When I said, “God needs a lot of good souls” I had those souls in mind who have not harmed others intentionally. No, not even for selfish reasons. If we consider all the living beings/creatures on this planet, then we find that the only one’s who do fall into this category are new born children, animals and plants. (For making my task simpler , I am not considering HUMANS as ANIMALS)
When God needs a lot of good souls, He literally needs them. He needs them not to assist him save the world, but to protect them for all the good they’ve done unto others. Why would, otherwise, a new born girl child in India, bring a smile to her mother’s face and become her own nemesis in her father’s head? I mean, c’mon, they just had sex for fun! What if they’re illiterate and cannot afford condoms or i-pills. What if they’re just going to give birth to a dozen kids, in search of that perfect boy who can carry the DNA. Who really gives a piece of shit about girls ALSO carrying the same DNA! All they do is add on to the cost-of-living to the oh-so-poor guy who wanted to fuck his wife to vent out his frustration. For the father, he just donated one-of-millions of spermatozoa’s to the once-in-a-month egg in the fallopian tubes. For the father, he just gave his sperms a new playground to play in, for all their brothers and sisters were drained down in the stream! For him, the new born daughter, was a sperm in his testes and then a face after three quarters of a year. Ah, what a life. But, the mother, she invited all the millions as a guest and asked them to feel at home. The whole journey from the entry to the fallopian tubes. She allows herself to be the host for the new soul. She spends nine months (generally) with the baby. She does everything possible to please the donor and the accolade she got because of her being alive!! What would’ve happened if her father thought the same, would her man be able to fuck her then? Time for God to interfere. He’s the one reason why the couple fucked in the first place. To get His blessings. His gift. And, so He also suggested “Hey, why not kill her? After all, a prick is always a prick.” (pun intended). And thus, He helps reduce the Chaos from the newborns’ life. He needs GOOD SOULS. We need education. Maybe condoms and/or contraceptives and/or hysterectomy and/or castration and/or SEX EDUCATION!! C’mon, fuck her when its safe.
Green House gases. Carbon Credits. Pollution. Growing industries. More cars. Computers. Laziness. Luxuries. Plastics. Urbanisation. Deforestation. Wars. and the list just goes on and on. All these combine together. Using Boolean Algebra, it all multiplies. The end product is massive. Humongous. Funny thing about business is the word compromise. We humans, compromise on a lot of things. Those who claim not to, have done so at least once. But, when we are forced to compromise on something as small as not to use private cars unnecessarily, not to use air conditioners unless the heat is excruciating, not to use plastic, not to keep our computers running, lights burning etc. we start talking about things we do to deserve all these luxuries. Individually, even if you die, the energy savings that you would be able to contribute, wont make any difference. But when they all add up, it can provide energy to those areas of the world where sky is the only source of life, providing light and water. But, why would you anyway do it? How does it matter helping someone you do not know, you haven’t even thought of or you are never going to meet. Right? The same way, how does it matter when you’re habits and your actions are the cause of hunger for just over 500million people on the planet. How does it matter that the computer you and me keep running all the time takes away the energy that would’ve otherwise been supplied to a fan during summer, water heater during winter, water pump during famine. How does it matter anyways, after all WE WORK HARD TO DESERVE WHAT WE DESIRE! Who cares if the farmers who cultivate the grains we eat, does so by working probably a thousand times more hard than what we can in an entire year, just so that you and me can eat. We sit in air conditioned offices and he slogs it out under the torching sun. Like the classy Indian urban dialouge, “Chodd na, kya farak padta hain! “ , if he started to think like that and cultivated only to sustain his family, life would be so balanced. Ah, we all would die of starvation, he would get a free pass to the city life (of course he’s lured by it) and would take in our positions and then would be a part of the cycle we were until some other farmer does the same to him. CHAOS! How does it matter to us when we say no to public transport, taxis, auto-rickshaws and prefer the comfort of our private cars. A 2km distance is not meant to be travelled on foot. Feet are meant to dance and walk around in the house. How easily we take out the car and travel for 2kms, which generally, would take not more than 15mins to walk, but hey, 2kms! (Somehow I feel its the suffix that sends shivers..KILOMETRES!!) For all such people, try deserts! Private cars just add to more than 80% of the pollution caused by traffic. But hey, why the hell is government running buses and trains? Curb the remaining 20% of the pollution. Let everyone use cars. After all, a 10min drive would then be a 1hr drive. Those who work for you, will reach to work just 2hrs late. They prefer to walk, you dickheads! And why, use sports cars that are fast to drive and consume just three times the fuel for half the distance. Ah, the pace at which you would move then. Would be just the kind of scene which you can sit and watch over and over again. Human race then keeps on hurrying, towards extinction. Oh, if only there would be someone to tell those who start maybe from a “living cell” ever again, how we enjoyed running towards the finish line. Maybe a water-proof hard disk drive would do the trick. We pray to God to help us in our work, and help us in attaining success. And He does listen to us. He just makes sure that all the fuel that can be discovered, is discovered. After all its more money. More deforestation. After all, the fuel is nothing but the remains of our dead ancestors buried deep inside, other animals, plants. The race to extinction is not a new love to humans after all. And so He interferes to assist us in every way possible. Kill all those humans who are suffering. Why, they’re the ones that make those WHO people extract money from us. “Naa bachega saap, naa bajegi baasuri” Make all those animals extinct who have never harmed humans, unless humans harmed them. Take away all the forests, and lure humans to kill humans. After all a natural disaster would again give rise to suffering. So let there be war. Let nature enjoy the show.
And the Chaos will multiply. Probably grow exponentially as well. It is the human selfishness that gives rise to Chaos. It is the Greed, that feeds Chaos. And it is the ego, that makes Chaos important. Chaos is necessary, for God, to achieve his ultimate goal. After all, everyone gets bored of their own creation. I mean, how long can you associate yourself with it. Its time to move on.
PS: I mean no disrespect to the women of this world. I absolutely respect them. I would sincerely apologise for hurting anyone’s sentiment in anyway. We are here because of you. It was intentionally unintentional. For all those who felt good after reading this, try to implement. Every decimal reduces the product by a factor of 10 :-)
Monday, March 22, 2010
* Have a firm handshake .
* Look people in the eye.
* Sing in the shower .
* Own a great stereo system.
* If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
* Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday .
* Always accept an outstretched hand.
* Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
* Avoid sarcastic remarks .
* Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.
* Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out .
* Lend only those books you never care to see again.
* Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have .
* When playing games with children, let them win .
* Give people a second chance, but not a third .
* Be romantic.
* Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
* Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.
* Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for your convenience, not the caller's .
* Be a good loser.
* Be a good winner
* Wave at the children on a school bus .
* When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
* Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born .
* Keep it simple.
* Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
* Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river .
* Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets
* Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the one's you did.
* Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you .
* Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
* Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes .
* Begin each day with some of your favorite music.
* Once in a while, take the scenic route.
* Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'
* Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
* Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.
* Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job .
* Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
* Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you .
* Become someone's hero.
* Marry only for love .
* Count your blessings.
* Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.
* Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.
* Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them .
* Don't expect life to be fair.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Life was a bliss for him. Nothing was unachievable. Nothing was impossible. Until, he encountered time. Fascinated by the new competitor, he geared himself up. And the race began. Life, on the other hand, played double-cross. All along, the tutor knew about the competitor, but did not educate the pupil, the presence of the mysterious menacing and cruel opponent. He, as a child, walked straight into the race. Lest he knew that the race course had boxing rings. A total of three rings. Rings where there were no referees. Rings where there were no rounds. Rings where there are no winners. Only the opponent can tell who the winner is, the opponent – TIME. And so the race began. He and Time, both raced towards ring one. Boxed each other, and after knocking TIME out, he ran towards the ring two. And then, he was told rule number zero - “At any given moment in the race, you will always be a function of the past and present. Future will not recognize you, unless you hold you function true. Differentiate the function with respect to time, and the key for the future will open.” With that, he was asked to step out of the ring and wait for the opponent. Life, the tutor, smiled. Wickedly. For one, the pupil defeated time at the cost of some more time. Ah, what a tutor!
After coming across the ring of past, and waiting in the ring of present, he discovered something new. For, having to wait for the time to make the future ring as present, he wasted his chance in the past ring. The chance where he could have learned and understood his opponent better. He, having learned a lesson in the past from his tutor, decided not to regret and make full use of the future-present ring. And when the losing opponent from the past ring came to the future ring, the future ring became the present ring. And the fight began. “When you fight, your instinct takes over your mind. The mantra for a victory is to let the mind take over your instinct.” And this is what happened. Life played villain. Time mocked. He got knocked. And time moved to the future, leaving him in the present-past ring. Gathering strength, he got up and walked towards the future ring. That is when he was told rule number zero-one - “Thou shall not enter the future-ring, if you are not the winner of the present-ring.” And, the race was over. He lost. The winner, lost. The undefeated champion, was finally defeated. He saw his tutor praising time, while winking at him. He felt betrayed.
Decades passed. And he started racing again. Wounds of time, take time to heal. So much of it, that no medicine can make you run faster and beat the invincible. He was finally fit. And he ran again, against time. No, this time, alongside time. Rule number one - “Return to the same course, will result in the elimination of the past-ring.” A sign of relief followed by haunting memories of the past-ring. The tutor whispers “To make it to the future-ring, don’t let go of the present-ring. Hold onto time, and beat the hell out of it. After all, time is just another competitor.”
Lesson learned. Fight begins.