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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

iSeries - uno

After having bitten by it once, i never really had the guts nor did i really want to experiment with it again. I was really happy that life was coming back again, and along with it was the return of the prankster within, the return of the carefree, risk taker that I always used to be. The world was coming to a halt as I continued to sink in the thoughts that were just as appeasing now, as they were painful at birth. But, thats the way He wants us to lead life. And the waves splashed into the tetrapods, right in front of me as the track changed to another of the legendary classics by Pink Floyd. Shine on you crazy diamond. And I was going down once again with all the tranquility inside me while being at one of the noisiest streets in town. Such irony! Such experience! As the song started, the leisurely playing of the strings, the calmness of the atmosphere, the steady rise and the sequence of its happenings were strong. Strong enough for life to drown me back. The memories flashed. The stupidity, the foolishness, the boyishness and the blunders all smiled in unison. And not staying behind, the eye responded. For once, salt tasted sweet. The tempo was rising. The last minute prayers, the most important and the most influential persons flashed in front of me. The eye responded yet again. With hands trembling, I sent apologies to one and all. I was all ready, ready to end it all. Ready to plunge into the well of life, ready to suffocate myself and embrace the worst possible means of meeting death. Yes, I was about to commit a crime. About to end myself. And I was going down once again with all the tranquility inside me while being at one of the noisiest streets in town. Such irony! Such experience!

" Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom,
blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine! "

The power broke my resilience. It brought me the needed time. It brought along with itself the reasons I had not been exposed to. And it took away with it, a fan, whose liking changed into love. Not only did it sting me at the right spot and at the right time, but it also made me realise the value of life. My life. For me, for present, it might be nothing. But for those people, for whom I might be everything, it does have some value. I could not be so mean. I could not be so selfish. I had to accept the truth and run over it. I changed my decision, momentarily, postponed it.

" O.K., just a little pin prick
There'll be no more, 'Aaahhhh,'
But you may feel a little sick

Can you stand up? I do believe it's working, good;
That'll keep you going through the show,
C'mon, it's time to go "

I started to move. My legs, with a new found energy, were no longer shaky. I walked on a new path. Nothing seemed to exist around me a little while ago. I felt reborn. Rejuvenation. The entire string of happenings made me laugh. It was not long before I halted again. The Sun smiled, as it set.

Monday, April 12, 2010


Everyone has a dream. Its good to have dreams. Infact, dream provdes a
meaning to life. Life without a dream is akin to a palette without
colors. Colors that fill up a picture unseen. Colors that are in the
imagination of the dreamer and colors that are splashed on the canvas.
Dreams determine the kind of a person you are. Dreams determine if you
are realistic or optimistic. If you are going to live the dream or if
you are living the dream. The whole journey to attain your dream is a
dream in itself. Dream is a dreamy word. Consider your dream to be
like a home you want to build and throughout the journey you encounter
smaller dreams that will make you home beautiful. The interior
designing! Yes, it is these small dreams that are like the colors
splashed on the canvas that in the end make up the whole picture. The
only indegrients required are honesty, belief in yourself,
determinationn, focus and an undying spirit to work hard.
The canvas is yours, just like your life. Fill it with the colors you
want because you are the painter! You decide the path of your life.
You alone. In the end, there is no winner. It is not the most
beautiful painting that is top rated, it is the most meaningful
painting that steals the show. Pour your experiences and meanings,
rather than duplicating them from others. Do not over use a color and
do not leave out any color. The end should not have any regrets.
Unlike a real painting, life does not have an undo option.

Posted via email from phillok

Friday, April 9, 2010

Chaos, Everywhere. Why?


Have you ever been in a situation with a mindset that tells you “Yes, I’m in control of myself” and the on the other hand felt confused, blank, numb, bewildered and garbled? Yes, exactly the moment I’m talking about. Have you ever pondered over your state, from a third person’s point of view? Nay, who has the time! I never got an insight into this, until recently when I was talking to a friend. We were chatting casually and one topic led to another until the following:

Friend: Alok, will you save me if i drown into water? I know you will.

Me: Aye, I don’t think i will.

Friend: Why, am i a bad person?

(This is where the answer to the Chaos struck me)

Me: No, you’re good. Hence. God needs a lot of good souls.


That is when it struck me. The reason for all the Chaos. What is it that is causing us all the chaos? Of all the reasons that we list, I’m certain the environment will top the list. It was during our school years that we were taught how plants are living beings, and how science proves it. When I said, “God needs a lot of good souls” I had those souls in mind who have not harmed others intentionally. No, not even for selfish reasons. If we consider all the living beings/creatures on this planet, then we find that the only one’s who do fall into this category are new born children, animals and plants. (For making my task simpler , I am not considering HUMANS as ANIMALS)

When God needs a lot of good souls, He literally needs them. He needs them not to assist him save the world, but to protect them for all the good they’ve done unto others. Why would, otherwise, a new born girl child in India, bring a smile to her mother’s face and become her own nemesis in her father’s head? I mean, c’mon, they just had sex for fun! What if they’re illiterate and cannot afford condoms or i-pills. What if they’re just going to give birth to a dozen kids, in search of that perfect boy who can carry the DNA. Who really gives a piece of shit about girls ALSO carrying the same DNA! All they do is add on to the cost-of-living to the oh-so-poor guy who wanted to fuck his wife to vent out his frustration. For the father, he just donated one-of-millions of spermatozoa’s to the once-in-a-month egg in the fallopian tubes. For the father, he just gave his sperms a new playground to play in, for all their brothers and sisters were drained down in the stream! For him, the new born daughter, was a sperm in his testes and then a face after three quarters of a year. Ah, what a life. But, the mother, she invited all the millions as a guest and asked them to feel at home. The whole journey from the entry to the fallopian tubes. She allows herself to be the host for the new soul. She spends nine months (generally) with the baby. She does everything possible to please the donor and the accolade she got because of her being alive!! What would’ve happened if her father thought the same, would her man be able to fuck her then? Time for God to interfere. He’s the one reason why the couple fucked in the first place. To get His blessings. His gift. And, so He also suggested “Hey, why not kill her? After all, a prick is always a prick.” (pun intended). And thus, He helps reduce the Chaos from the newborns’ life. He needs GOOD SOULS. We need education. Maybe condoms and/or contraceptives and/or hysterectomy and/or castration and/or SEX EDUCATION!! C’mon, fuck her when its safe.

Green House gases. Carbon Credits. Pollution. Growing industries. More cars. Computers. Laziness. Luxuries. Plastics. Urbanisation. Deforestation. Wars. and the list just goes on and on. All these combine together. Using Boolean Algebra, it all multiplies. The end product is massive. Humongous. Funny thing about business is the word compromise. We humans, compromise on a lot of things. Those who claim not to, have done so at least once. But, when we are forced to compromise on something as small as not to use private cars unnecessarily, not to use air conditioners unless the heat is excruciating, not to use plastic, not to keep our computers running, lights burning etc. we start talking about things we do to deserve all these luxuries. Individually, even if you die, the energy savings that you would be able to contribute, wont make any difference. But when they all add up, it can provide energy to those areas of the world where sky is the only source of life, providing light and water. But, why would you anyway do it? How does it matter helping someone you do not know, you haven’t even thought of or you are never going to meet. Right? The same way, how does it matter when you’re habits and your actions are the cause of hunger for just over 500million people on the planet. How does it matter that the computer you and me keep running all the time takes away the energy that would’ve otherwise been supplied to a fan during summer, water heater during winter, water pump during famine. How does it matter anyways, after all WE WORK HARD TO DESERVE WHAT WE DESIRE! Who cares if the farmers who cultivate the grains we eat, does so by working probably a thousand times more hard than what we can in an entire year, just so that you and me can eat. We sit in air conditioned offices and he slogs it out under the torching sun. Like the classy Indian urban dialouge, “Chodd na, kya farak padta hain! “ , if he started to think like that and cultivated only to sustain his family, life would be so balanced. Ah, we all would die of starvation, he would get a free pass to the city life (of course he’s lured by it) and would take in our positions and then would be a part of the cycle we were until some other farmer does the same to him. CHAOS! How does it matter to us when we say no to public transport, taxis, auto-rickshaws and prefer the comfort of our private cars. A 2km distance is not meant to be travelled on foot. Feet are meant to dance and walk around in the house. How easily we take out the car and travel for 2kms, which generally, would take not more than 15mins to walk, but hey, 2kms! (Somehow I feel its the suffix that sends shivers..KILOMETRES!!) For all such people, try deserts! Private cars just add to more than 80% of the pollution caused by traffic. But hey, why the hell is government running buses and trains? Curb the remaining 20% of the pollution. Let everyone use cars. After all, a 10min drive would then be a 1hr drive. Those who work for you, will reach to work just 2hrs late. They prefer to walk, you dickheads! And why, use sports cars that are fast to drive and consume just three times the fuel for half the distance. Ah, the pace at which you would move then. Would be just the kind of scene which you can sit and watch over and over again. Human race then keeps on hurrying, towards extinction. Oh, if only there would be someone to tell those who start maybe from a “living cell” ever again, how we enjoyed running towards the finish line. Maybe a water-proof hard disk drive would do the trick. We pray to God to help us in our work, and help us in attaining success. And He does listen to us. He just makes sure that all the fuel that can be discovered, is discovered. After all its more money. More deforestation. After all, the fuel is nothing but the remains of our dead ancestors buried deep inside, other animals, plants. The race to extinction is not a new love to humans after all. And so He interferes to assist us in every way possible. Kill all those humans who are suffering. Why, they’re the ones that make those WHO people extract money from us. “Naa bachega saap, naa bajegi baasuri” Make all those animals extinct who have never harmed humans, unless humans harmed them. Take away all the forests, and lure humans to kill humans. After all a natural disaster would again give rise to suffering. So let there be war. Let nature enjoy the show.

And the Chaos will multiply. Probably grow exponentially as well. It is the human selfishness that gives rise to Chaos. It is the Greed, that feeds Chaos. And it is the ego, that makes Chaos important. Chaos is necessary, for God, to achieve his ultimate goal. After all, everyone gets bored of their own creation. I mean, how long can you associate yourself with it. Its time to move on.


PS: I mean no disrespect to the women of this world. I absolutely respect them. I would sincerely apologise for hurting anyone’s sentiment in anyway. We are here because of you.  It was intentionally unintentional. For all those who felt good after reading this, try to implement. Every decimal reduces the product by a factor of 10 :-)